Archive for June, 2011

lazy hazy days of summer…

Thursday, June 30th, 2011

Time management is always an issue for me but less so now than when I first ‘retired’ 12 years ago. In the interim I have learned to smell more roses and catch up on more reading. That said the first five months of this year were pretty hectic and I knew that going in. Obligations to speak were booked a year out as were exhibits, shipping work hither and yon and going to France.

I greatly anticipated June 1 as being finally ‘my time’ which was promptly re-arranged when life intervened and my husband suffered an embolism & complications. So June has primarily been a wash although I have gotten back into the studio and am creating new work in between lots of trips down the freeway to ongoing doctors’ appointments. A big help was resigning as his personal secretary which freed up my energy to make art while he could sit on the phone all day.

After two surgical consultations of my own today I decided to have a total knee replacement on my right leg. Neither knee is in great shape but the bone-on-bone of this one has greatly impacted my lifestyle.

With all the ‘corrective surgery’ I have had already I never thought it possible that this could be fixed. I had come to a place of stoic acceptance so I was quite shocked to learn that indeed it can be replaced. Naturally I am nervous about more surgery and what if I end up in worse shape? I have been reassured that is unlikely and while I have heard of all kinds of alternative plans none cures the problem like surgery. So with great faith in surgeon #2 I am consenting to go forward. Rather than work myself into an anxious lather about this I will root out my positive thinking cap and wear it from here on out.

The surgeon’s schedule brings me into September as the next available opportunity. Now instead of relaxing in the remaining lazy days of summer I am thinking I must get downstairs and print some fabric which I have resisted (no pun intended) for months. And I need to make more work. And I need to finish a marketing project and so on and so on …

The world would not end if I did none of this and just declared the remainder of this year as ‘my six months holiday.’ Maybe I will…who knows?!

Posted in knee surgery, seasonal, time management | 1 Comment »

diversions…

Sunday, June 26th, 2011

Over a decade ago when I retired from my day job I had more time to spend with one of my dearest friends. Rose was in transition herself and we often had the conversation about whether to look for work or make art. She did not need to work as a young widow left with many properties to manage. She wanted to paint all day long and yet had worked so much of her life she felt she should be looking for a job.

I was new to the freedom to choose game myself and it took me nearly 3 years to just stop reading the job listings. Being the queen of analogies and a visual learner I likened our kindred struggles to the freeway and how so many off-ramps lead to diversions or distractions from what we really wanted to do with our lives. From then on everytime we had the same conversation…should I go back to work or paint, I visualized the freeway and the diversion of the off-ramps. Sadly Rose lost her ability to choose a short time later when she died too soon.

Yesterday I was reminded of Rose and our many discussions of what/where we wanted to go with our art and the freeway off-ramps. I was reminded that nowhere on my list of personal art goals is I want to pay big bucks to show my work in galleries. And yet twice in the past month this has come up as galleries struggle to survive. I feel blessed to have had the experience of showing my work in the cooperative ACCI Gallery in Berkeley for the past two years which has given me good insight into the best venues for various types of my work. And will continue

Rose would be astonished to see how far I have come with my art based on my ability to stray from the comfort of a paycheck. And I like to think she would be proud that I still rely on that old freeway analogy to keep me focused in heading the direction I need to go and grow rather than heading toward the diversions which so often are disguises for the needs of others.

RIP RR.

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breaking through the fine art ceiling…

Sunday, June 19th, 2011

One of the reasons I call myself a textile artist is I firmly believe if we say it often enough and loud enough, someone in the fine art world will take notice.

I am just back from the opening reception of a juried exhibit “Fire & Ice” at the Petaluma Art Center.

My work Upheaval # 7 was the ONLY textile in the entire exhibit. And it looked like it belonged there amongst all the other ‘fine art.’ The exhibit is very well displayed and includes an interesting variety of beautiful art. I also enjoyed schmoozing with two of the other artists; and had my knees not been screaming I would still be there.

There was an additional exhibit of funeria urns. Now that is something I never thought about…there were exquisite. I was torn between those covered with lichen made of clay and the old fashioned gumball machine.

(S)he who laughs last…

Posted in exhibits, surface design | 3 Comments »

life hangs by a thread…

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

Twenty years ago when a friend was suddenly killed in a car accident, a colleague of my then-employer said quite simply…life hangs by a thread. At that exact moment I was both stunned and comforted by that simple sentence. And fortunately or not I have not thought of it much since then. I have lost other friends, all to cancer where the thread is long while unraveling.

Until this week…I was reminded that life hangs by a thread when my husband was re-admitted to the hospital hemorrhaging from the medication given to him last week to manage the emboli. I was reminded when instead of being the regular blood donor he was the recipient of four pints. I was reminded when the ER doc said I better call my daughter. I was reminded when he was moved to the trauma unit. I was reminded when he was moved to ICU and I have been reminded every long hour of these 3 days .

Synchronistically I had mailed postcards of the exhibits where my work is to be seen this summer/fall. So many wondered how I found time. A recuperating husband (pre-hemorrhage) is a great label sticker. It was all about timing.

So I was surprised more than anything when the egos of artists began to surface as a result of my mailing. Here I am in the life hangs by a thread moment and am being bombarded with ‘poor me’ messages from art peers. If ever there was such a clear delineation between yin and yang, ego and spirit I don’t know what it is.

He just called and he is being released this morning. As I hit the freeway one more time I hope to integrate into my daily gratitude the wisdom of life hangs by a thread . As I sit currently with a foot in both worlds I get it.

My art is my passion and gives my life meaning. The ego of art is a waste of our precious time and valuable energy.

Posted in embolism, wisdom | 4 Comments »

reality check…

Thursday, June 9th, 2011

Life happens when we are making other plans…being a semi-grounded person most of the time I am frequently reminded of this expression in my own life and in witnessing others. Three days ago I got a huge reminder when my husband was admitted to the hospital with a pulmonary embolism. While I generally refrain from blogging about kin, I make exception now as I realize his life happenings greatly affect mine. Try as I might it appears quite likely that once I recover emotionally and physically from his life happening I will still be involved in the short tether from which he will now live.

He has been both blessed with a lifetime of good health and cursed with a consistent lack of healthy living. Now his hand has been forced and he must comply to rules made by others for his body to highly function. Early on I was angry as he had fallen off his bicycle, bruising his ribs and did nothing about it. I voiced my protest by announcing I would not be the enforcer.

Now reality has set in and I realize as long as we share a name and cohabitate I share a responsibility in this too. It is not a matter of refusing to monitor his condition but rather one of teamwork to make sure we keep him in the best shape possible.

As one who has lived with chronic pain as long as I can remember it is eye-opening and sad to witness one who has been blessed with good health struggle with the short leash he is now on. Eventually he will adjust and we both will go back to making other plans. Who knows…maybe there is an art piece in this?

Posted in embolism, wisdom | 9 Comments »