Carol Larson - textile artist

Today is my birthday! Gasp! No, you did not miss it. Actually it is another two weeks off. But I just used it as an excuse to buy for myself an art quilt I was coveting on the SAQA Reverse Auction. You too can bid on beautiful art here.

The really odd thing about this is I could have easily bought this beautiful work by Sidnee Snell for my art quilt collection simply because I love it. When working from that premise, I decided that I would buy it tomorrow when it dropped another hundred dollars. But when it drops tomorrow, I will be in the dentist chair having my teeth cleaned. I don’t imagine I could type on my laptop whilst having my teeth cleaned. So that created some stress as to whether the piece would still be available. Add to that stewpot a dose of reality check that the auction is very slow this week, hardly any work has sold, most likely due to the economy and the upcoming holiday, so it might still be there. People are buying yams and taters, not art. Suddenly I feel a dose of Vegas coming on!

Further when the price drops tomorrow, I might be tempted to buy two! And that is when my inner tightwad kicks in. This auction comes on the heels of having just completed two monstrous volunteer projects for this organization and already donating 100’s of hours of my time and sanity to the group.Why would I want to give them any money?!!!

In reality, I don’t want to give them any more money. So I re-framed my thinking that instead of donating my valuable dollar to their cause, I was instead buying a piece of art that I love! And further I justified that this beautiful piece of art that I am acquiring is my birthday gift from my Dad. You see Dad always gives me a check, and after nearly 61 years I pretty much know how much it will be. So thanks Dad for my beautiful birthday gift. I will treasure it always. Yet isn’t it a bit odd that I hesitate to spend my money on myself, but not Dad’s?!

Last week I acquired this gorgeous piece by Alison Schwabe whose work I have admired for a very long time. Someone once told me that when we have 3 of something, we have a collection. Last year I bought two 12″ quilts and this year, two. So now it is safe to say these two acquisitions are part of the Carol Larson Art Collection. They will surely keep me warm when my pension plan dries up entirely!

I am one of those people who photographs mostly textures, colors, surfaces and patterns, rather than people and places. The advent of the digital camera was a great thing for someone like me, for when I travel, I often go nuts! That was the case on our September trip to St. Louis.

After weeks of other priorities, yesterday I finally got around to culling and resizing the images from the STL trip. First I was astonished at just how many shots I had taken! There were something like 384 images in the file, although I had easily deleted 100 of those while still in the camera, on the trip. Oy vey! Several hours later, my eyes were burning and I still had not gotten through the huge pile of images!

How many photos of the Arch does one really need I ask you? OK, so I captured it from every possible and impossible angle, but really, how many do I need? I culled it down to SIXTEEN!!!

Of course I am the first person to judge those who go through life with their camera affixed to their face and never actually SEE anything with their eyes! She doth protest too much, clearly.

The other thing about picture taking on vacation is nobody cares. Nobody wants to see your vacation photos, unless they are really being nice or have an incredible amount of free time! I learned this as a worker bee the year I bravely took off six weeks and went to Sweden to meet my husband’s cousins. I returned to work with a thick album, and oh, that’s nice, nobody cares, get back to work!

Another time my boss inquired who took this trip? There was not a single photo of my husband and I in the whole pile. Whereas his vacation photos were of he and gf in front of palm tree, he and gf on the golf course, he and gf out to dinner. Who cares?! We know they went to Hawaii, show me some lava formations for Pete’s sake!

So that really brings me back to the beginning (as all good tales should) of taking images for my own use, but why do I need so many to choose from? Enjoy the show and be grateful that I did not post the final count of just 216 images!

As I work to find my way back to what I was doing before all the volunteer projects collided, I am so aware how the year is slipping away. When I was about 20 my grandmother, who was my current age told me that time passes more quickly as we age. Ah, yeah, right I thought…that is because you are old!!!

Now that I am that age, and decidedly not yet old, nor a grandmother, I am astonished as to where this year has gone! The first two months vanished, then I spent the next 5 months battling and curing a chronic inflammation problem, which left me with little urge to do anything creative or fun. Then I took 3 trips within 3 months, and took on two volunteer gigs that sucked up all my free time for a month, and now here I sit in early November, taking stock.

All the while I am thinking about my 2009 goals. One thing that comes to me every time I am finding my way back to center is that I am not doing enough “about” my art. Well, that is really a matter of opinion, for I decided long ago that my primary purpose for making art was to just do it, to live my life’s passion. Anything beyond that is gravy.

Ever since I retired from a steady paycheck a decade ago, I have fought my work ethic with thoughts that I should be doing more, something more, something big… this is my big opportunity! Yet a very wise woman reminded me some time ago, that I have already done more. I have already done it all, simultaneously.

What if the big opportunity is quite simply to live life and make art, on my own terms? What if the big opportunity is to live life unscheduled? What if the big opportunity is to do absolutely nothing of consequence? If that is it, then I still have a lot of work to do to get there! Further, if that is the big opportunity then it seriously requires a lot less worrying, doesn’t it?

What is abundantly clear to me is I want fewer choices!!! Both the studio and dye-paint area are chock full of choices. I am so blessed to have so many choices, but at the same time it is overwhelming. Today as I came up from the dye studio, I had the thought to do months of 2009 sessions to use up all the dyes, paints and cloth and then be done with that. It is kind of a bizarre thought and yet one I may consider, as I find myself less enthused about sucking procion and textile paint fumes… and yes, I do wear the mask, gloves and have ventilation. As my body ages, I find myself much less inclined to subject it to toxicity.

All good food for thought and for the 2009 list…

The last time I was excited about an American presidential election I was in the 8th grade. I was too young to vote but well aware of the electrifying energy around me as people debated the historical event of electing a Catholic (gasp!) President.

This year’s election had the same effect on me. Never, until now, have I given to any political campaign nor stuck a sticker on my car. Never had I felt the electifying hope that came through in Obama’s campaign. I have always voted, on principle but truly felt my vote did not make a difference. Thirty seven years ago, I learned that for a fact when I married the man whose vote consistently canceled mine out. And I had never voted for anyone or anything that won. Until now.

My husband, aka negative Nelson is still asking what do we know about Obama? He listens to all the right wing talk shows and I don’t care as long as I don’t have to either listen nor discuss it!!! But as we celebrated Tuesday night that this nation chock full of all kinds of theories and theorists made a really sensible decision to change direction, he still was trying to rain on the parade.

I can’t explain it. It is just a gut feeling. This man we elected touches my soul. He is such a rare, unusual bird in this corrupt political game. To negative Nelson’s questions, I simply replied…worse case scenario, how can he be worse than Bush? To which he had no response but, you’re right! And your point is???

Before the election, I worried that Obama’s prize would be taken from him. Now I worry that Bush will commit more stupid acts in his remaining 70-something days. Worry is a wasted emotion, just like guilt. It’s time to bask in the glow before the hard work really begins. And hope the door does hit George on his way out!