Today is July 1st and I am rapidly coming up on the date for my second knee replacement. I chose to have this surgery in July because¬† I will be 9 months out from the first replacement and sufficiently healed to start the process all over again. I do not relish this opportunity but have kept my focus on the end result and was reminded the other day no one anticipates surgery with¬† great joy!
Much as I approached the first replacement I’ve been in the studio wrapping up some projects and beginning a few small ones. I thought for sure I would get one more large piece done before I was rendered studio-disabled for while. That is until two weeks ago.
That was when we received word that my father’s health was rapidly declining.¬† He died this past week at the awesome age of 88 years. He had been afflicted with dementia for 7 years so in essence a part of him died some time ago.
Years ago after losing two of my closest friends to cancer I became a hospice bereavement volunteer where I became familiar with the cycles of grief. And while I believe I was prepared to lose my dad and am ‘handling’ that pretty well, I had forgotten about the first phase…shock!
I am in a brain fog.¬† I start to talk and cannot think of what I wanted to say. If I write it down I just stare at the paper. Nothing seems to compute. And yet I have verbal diarrhea where I can talk non-stop to anyone who has the patience to listen long enough.
Now I know I am not going to get one more piece made before surgery. I will be fortunate¬† if I get my work out to exhibits it is committed to and send images where they need to go let alone attend to details for the memorial which is 3 days before surgery. I will be lucky if¬† I get the design table cleaned up.
It is always a challenge for this¬† ‘human doing’ to slow down and give the body the time it needs to heal …both from surgery and from life that happened while I was making other plans.