Archive for the ‘aging’ Category

opportune flu timing…

Monday, February 5th, 2018

elephant seal sanctuary, Piedras Blanca, CA

Today is day 10 of my stint with the flu. Yesterday I felt totally great yet did nothing because I had been warned of relapse. And alas, today, there it was, just the same. After 10.5 hrs of sleep I could barely get out of bed. Of course by now, hubs who got the shot (as opposed to me who refuses each year because “I never get the flu”) is also ill. So between the two of us and the dog it looks like the elephant seal sanctuary around here.

Just before the flu we took a 6 day road trip down the Central Coast for a Road Scholar program on migrations. It was an interesting program, full of intelligent people, many who came in escape of the midwest and east coast winter. We learned we are not birders, as if there was any doubt before. I could not even see the silver throated cockle tweeter let alone name it and where was the brown shingled outhouse when I needed it?

At the close of 2017 I was finishing up no 24 in my three year series Defining Moments. And I was worried for a couple months before that about what next?¬†There is nothing like a deadline to motivate a person like me. For three years I did not have to worry about what’s next? Sure it took me a bit to get started, but once I did, it was fairly smooth sailing.

I tried not to think about it, but alas it was there needling me, what’s next? what’s next? So I started to pay more attention to what it is going on around me, and in the world, what caught my attention and what didn’t, and really began to hone in on what I might introduce to my work.

Then I went on vacation, where I got some heartbreaking news from a friend, which affects my current project, then I got the flu. Then I lost interest in anything I would normally do to calm myself. I have lots of handwork I can do. I have knitting to rip out and restart. I have books I can read. I can do nothing, but fret and twist in the wind.

The truly ironic part of this whole scenario is I am not lacking for inspiration. I simply cannot contain my mind. I am bored out of my gourd lying here, unable to work. I want control of it. Isn’t that ridiculous, sick with the flu and still trying to choreograph the show? Did I learn nothing with the 27 month knee inflammation? Surrender, Dorothy!

When I was a young woman with bad menstrual cramps I envisioned the perfect comfort would be to sit in a vat of warm chocolate pudding. This may be the time to ferret that out! Or I could simply contemplate the dehydrated navel orange…ymmm!

a slice of dehydrated orange is 100 x sweeter than fresh!



on intentions…

Thursday, December 28th, 2017

Currents 25

I don’t make New Year’s resolutions because to me they imply something needs fixing and one is bound to fail. Who needs that? I’ve spent the last 40 years shedding things that make me feel badly about myself. I need not conjure up new ones.

Instead I prefer intentions, or art goals. What would I like to accomplish in the approaching new year? And I write it down so at the end of the year I can see if I did it. For the most part, I do.

I don’t need to join a gym, or lose weight as I’ve been there, done that.¬†And I don’t want to do anything tangible every day for a year. I admire others who can do that, a collage a day, a stamp a day, a sketch a day, a stitched line, a novel page a day, whatever. To me, it is too much like homework or a job!

Besides I don’t think I really need more discipline. After all I am the one who set a goal of designing 25 large pieces in three years time and did it! So, yes I definitely need less structure and more fun!

I was thinking I might add a morning meditation as an intention, but that still feels a bit like a guilt trip. So maybe a mini intention, to work towards being mindful, say for 10-15 minutes each day. Of course this intention involves training others to either (a) join me or (b) not interrupt me to ask what I am doing, or if I am ok?! The answer to that takes me way out of mindfulness!

Perhaps the most manageable, the most reliable, the most possible intention of all is to do hand-work every night! As in what I did before the internet was born. To put down the iPad and the phone, and once again pick up needle/thread or needles/yarn and make something.

Ideally, it will serve several purposes; massage my creative gene, give me back that meditative time so challenging to maintain, and produce something. Way back in the last century before the internet, I knit almost every night. I have dozens of pairs of warm wooly socks that I still wear in winter, scarves for walking, a sweater or two and even a gorgeous wool coat. None of these would have happened if I had been solving a 300 pc puzzle online, or playing scrabble and mahjong against myself. And the bonus is I might go to sleep easier, not having to shut down my brain at night along with the devices.

So there you have it. My intentions for 2018 include staying grounded, retaining the muse and doing hand-work every night. I think I can handle that as they all tend to support each other. And if you see me prowling the internet some evening, don’t shame me. I feel bad enough about it already!

May 2018 be the year you figure out your best intentions, and follow through!

Happy New Year!

reflections on turning 70…

Sunday, December 17th, 2017

reflection of arch, st. louis, mo

As many know I offered a special inventory reduction sale of my work in honor of my turning 70. For what was supposed to be a 3-day event, I sold lots of early work to those who most loved it and wanted to live with it, or gift it to someone, who potentially will love it too!

It was one of the most gratifying things I have ever done. It was really validating that so many friends, other artists and complete strangers love my work and wanted it in their lives. And it was refreshing to cull some inventory from three closets and one cabinet in my home.

Before doing this, I pondered whether I would be devaluing the price of my work by selling for $70 ea? For me, the answer was simple. This one-time sale was about freeing up studio energy, which in turn clears my headspace and my willingness to share. It was not about money, not about art career goals, not about strategy. And that is probably why it all felt so good. It felt good for my work to be coveted. It felt good that people who might not otherwise be able to afford it, to own it. It felt good to prep older work to ship, to sign in thread those which had not been done before, to bid farewell to much loved colors, textures and designs. It was all a lovely and most gratifying experience.

So the first thing I learned since turning 70 was, if you want to do a quickie sale of your artwork, don’t announce it until the actual first day of the sale. I thought it prudent to put out advance notice a week ahead. I did not want to be processing orders on my birthday! The hits were fast and furious. I sold ten pieces in the first hour, a week ahead of time. By the time the official sale days arrived, there were only four pieces left!

Another thing I learned is there will always be people who want all my work for $70 ea, for which I got to practice saying NO. My favorite expression actually is …NO is a complete sentence!

For my birthday we went to a fabulous resort and spa on the Monterey Peninsula. We ate great food, indulged in a bit more wine & chocolate than usual, enjoyed the “Carol Cocktail” custom made by the bartender in honor of my big day, saw old friends, had a facial, revisited the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and ate and slept like royalty!

I don’t know that I learned this so much as I re-acknowledged that I am not a spa person! Mostly I don’t like strangers asking me about my body parts, which always seems to happen in a spa. Sure it is unprofessional, but it happens and often, and I don’t like being put on the defensive when I am supposed to be there to relax!

It was a lovely spot, with all the amenities and yet I struggled to get out of the warming pool.¬†It was challenging to toddle around in men’s sandals which were way too wide for my long feet, which are way too long for the women’s sandals!¬†Just let me go barefoot already!¬†Just a weird combination of first world problems that annoyed me. So I re-learned, that I never have to go to a spa again!

And finally I learned that it is true, that by the time one hits this age we have definite likes and dislikes. We like our creature comforts. We like to sit on furniture made for tall folk and not have our knees dangling on the floor. We like to walk in shoes that fit. And we like to know when it is free day for tri-county residents at the aquarium, and not go on that day! You could say I am getting cranky, but in reality I am just getting smarter, one day at a time.


…and then there were four

Sunday, December 10th, 2017

The response to my 70 for 70 sale has been tremendous! Thank you so much to all who have purchased my work. It warms my heart to know so many love my work, while simultaneously allowing me to reduce inventory!¬†¬†Work has flown off the shelves and just four are remaining…

Adrift¬†19″ x 26″, an experimental piece using potato dextrin resist and a tile layer‚Äôs tool to manipulate the paste.
Decay 5, 36‚ÄĚ x 32‚ÄĚ, I rusted the base fabric in the garden, and delighted to see¬†nature created holes in the cloth;¬†screen printed with leaves and¬†emphasized¬†the holes with stitching.
Heatwave,¬†16‚ÄĚ x 16‚ÄĚ, I hand-dyed canvas and¬†screen-printed with original imagery on a very hot day!
Red Door, Feng Shui 2, 26‚ÄĚ x 30‚ÄĚ, A subdivision of beige houses with¬†red doors,¬†went up on the hill behind us. I screen-printed window shapes on the pieced background.

Until December 13 these four pieces are $70 each, in honor of my 70th birthday!

You may see this work by visiting the 70 for 70 page on my website. If you see something you love, want, covet, must have, send an email with the name of the piece, your name, address and phone number. I will invoice you through Paypal. If you do not have a Paypal account, let me know that too!   Small print: I will charge $5.95 sales tax on each piece sold. I will pay the shipping.  All sales are final.


70 for 70…

Tuesday, December 5th, 2017

The Naked Truth, detail

After a year of musing about being almost 70, this week it actually happens!

To celebrate I’ve priced several pieces of my work for just $70 apiece for December 11, 12, 13.

Go have a gander at the 70 for 70 page on my website so and see if there is something that speaks to you. If so, shoot me an email, either through my website contact form or by private message. Tell me the title(s) you want with your name, address and phone number and I will invoice you via Paypal. If you don’t have a Paypal account tell me that as well and I will call you for your credit card info.

The small print on the sale is this:  sale applies only to the work on the 70 for 70 page. I will charge $5.95 sales tax on each piece sold, but will waive the (US) shipping . On December 14, 2017 all prices revert to their original (from $200-$2700) . All sales are final. 

I have designed well over 200 quilts since the turn of the century (I love that expression!). I have been blessed to sell a lot of work to both private patrons and corporate clients. I have given some as gifts, including baby quilts. I have donated work to charitable fundraisers.

There is little that brings me more joy than seeing my work go live with someone who absolutely loves it! That and the idea that ‘she who dies with the most quilts does not win’ are the motivation for this sale. It gives me a chance to whittle down inventory of work that I no longer show, while allowing those who love it to afford it. It is my birthday gift to you!

As far as turning 70, I feel so incredibly blessed to be doing so! You will never hear me whine about getting old, as it is a privilege not granted to all. I have felt heartache through the loss of dear friends and kin; so many who never saw 70, or even 60 for that matter. Mom died at 67, David at 56, Rose at 59, Chris at 67, with Ahlzeimer’s claiming both my dear Aunt Judy and my little ‘sis Debbie in their early 60’s. I owe it to all of these folks to live life to the fullest and appreciate each new day!

So bring it on…the best is yet to be.

coming ’round the corner…

Saturday, November 25th, 2017

Defining Moments 23: The Aging Optimist

Today I photographed no. 23 in the Defining Moments series and put it up on my website. This piece, The Aging Optimist was another that sat in my head for weeks, figuring out how to design it. I had yet another roll of strips made of scraps from which I had started the series and I wanted to carry forth that same idea, although in the early work it referenced the Christian cross. On this piece I wanted it to represent the growing vine, the road traveled or any other metaphor for aging. I discovered though that the strip, already congested with many seams was not going to curve around and make a tight corner. So I cut it into sections, which almost resembles vertebrae and constructed my winding path from there.

strips that started the series

Now I am starting the text for no. 24. Again, all but done in my head, only to be done in real time and stitched. No. 25 is a true collaboration so no deadline stress! It will happen when it does. So there I am three plus years and 24 quilts later. A grand sense of accomplishment, indeed!

Throughout this project I have acquired both new skills and new equipment. The challenge remains to continue to create work that says something, tells a story, sparks conversation, gets people to think and put it out into the world. I do have my work cut out for me (haha)!

Meanwhile I have come up with a truly inspirational way to celebrate my 70th. Other than the spa day and dinner out, this is a way for me to spread the love and give back just a little bit. Stay tuned for the deets …


on deadlines…

Thursday, November 2nd, 2017


Today while looking through birthday cards for all my favorite winter babies, I came across one with the grim reaper on it. Somehow it did not strike me as excessively funny.¬†Yet as one who is rapidly approaching a new decade, a BIG birthday (as if they are not all big) I didn’t find it particularly amusing. The punchline however was something about life having a deadline.

Which got me to thinking about the word deadline having the word dead as part of it. We never say I have a lifeline on Thursday unless of course we are anticipating some sort of help, escape or spa appointment. No we say I have a deadline on Thursday.

For me, the past 3.5 years of my art-making has been driven by a deadline. This self-imposed deadline is to finish the Defining Moments series by my 70th birthday. The idea of this partnership was each of us was to design and sew 25 big quilts before my December 2017 birthday. I am now designing #23 and where my partner in this project is, remains a mystery!

At least semi-annually my husband has said that I had put a big whambo (he has his own dialect) on myself in setting this deadline. I just brushed it off, half thinking he was right while the other half was driven to make it.

Because I keep great documentation of my work, I am able to share this exciting bit of trivia with you. For this series, in 2014 I made 4 pieces, 2015 was 5 pieces, 2016 was 6 pieces and year to date I have made 7.5 ! So clearly I function best with a deadline, grim reaper or not!

I did get a hitch in my deadline driven rhythm this week though when my wondrous dream machine had major tension problems. Hubs and I spent the better part of two days recording non-existent numbers & running the gamut from no tension to high tension on both top and bobbin. All this achieved was sheer frustration, an enormous waste of thread and several lovely samplers such as this. Finally I threw up the white flag, contacted the dealer, got his input and voila today finished stitching the background of no.23. I am back in business!

Granted I am not going to make the deadline, but I am so close that I am very pleased! This leaves me wondering what my next deadline will be?

stress inducer 101

inspiration in unexpected places…

Monday, October 23rd, 2017


Yesterday five women came to my studio to see what I do. This idea started over the course of a year when a long time friend from the local quilt guild said she wanted to be a ‘fly on the wall’ in my studio. Then another local friend of 40+ years mentioned that she too wanted to see my work and how I do it. Then a third wanted to see my work, and in turn invited two of her friends. It took the longest thread in the history of email to find a date that worked for all five people, as we of the retired tribe do love our travel!

I had some reservations as I am not big on being observed while working; just ask my husband! Nor do I much like doing Open Studios, which I have done once. I just want to make my work and essentially be left alone while doing so! Why else did my daughter hand-stitch a SCRAM sign for my studio door, years ago?!

The challenge for me was to figure out what parts of my process would be interesting to others, and how much time to allocate before my body would be unwilling to stand any longer. Finally I decided to demo the Thermofax screen-making process, the screen-printing process, stitching on the new love of my life, the Juki mid-arm, talk about digital fabric printing and lastly show some work that incorporated all of the above. I pulled about 8 or 9 pieces from my various series, and talked about each piece. I envisioned the visit lasting about two hours, with no refreshments, only art process.

It was delightful! There were lots of questions and photo taking and more questions.Two hours breezed by and my only physical complaint was minor voice strain. And the most unexpected thing happened. After they left I realized that I was so completely psyched about my own work! What greater inspiration to keep going?

Meanwhile…no. 22 in the Defining Moments series is finished, but not yet photographed. The second layer of paint was laid on the background of no. 23 during yesterday’s studio visit. The text for the overlay design is printed so this week I will get to batting & backing and get this puppy stitched, so that I can then design the piece. No. 24 has been rattling around in my head for weeks, and going through many configurations. After yesterday’s studio visit, it became abundantly clear exactly what I need to do, so this morning I trashed rendition #2 which was essentially creating way too much work for myself, and am now enthused about rendition #3!

I am now six weeks shy of the self-imposed deadline of 25 large pieces before my 70th birthday, but not the least bit worried. Rather I am excited about this huge endeavor I took on and have achieved. Stay tuned…

what I learned on my summer vacation…

Wednesday, September 13th, 2017

Five Sails, Canada Place, Vancouver BC

We chose the perfect week to take an Alaska cruise as it was hotter than hell in the SF Bay Area the first week of September. We were instead basking in the autumnal glow of the Inside Passage and Gulf of Alaska. Normally autumn in the Bay Area is my favorite time of year, but this one just feels too warm. Gee, I wonder why? There must be some science behind it…ya think?!

Stanley Park totem, Vancouver BC

We flew to Vancouver via Seattle where hubs ran into my cousin who was waiting for the same flight to Vancouver. They were sailing the day before us on another cruise line… what a coincidence!

In the end we surrendered our seats on that overbooked flight and came away with $800 in travel credits on Alaska Air, arriving on another airline just an hour later. When we arrived at our hotel in Vancouver, we were upgraded to a bay-view suite on the 19th floor overlooking Stanley Park, the cruise ship terminal, the mountains and the entire bay where the float planes landed and took off. It was pretty incredible. Truly our airplane seat karma had already paid off!

one of two sunsets we witnessed onboard ship

We spent a day and a half exploring Vancouver, which had changed a bit since I was last there…in 8th grade! All I remembered was rain, but it was sunny and beautiful, and in fact they are having a drought. Lawns are dead now and it is wall-to-wall glass skyscrapers of condos. Still, it is a gorgeous location, between the Gulf Islands and the mountain ranges.

Kenai Fjords Natl Park

We sailed from Vancouver to Seward, AK on Silversea. I chose this cruise line because of their small ships which are able to maneuver into smaller waterways and ports. Although every port where we docked there were also the behemoth cruise ships. So much for that reasoning!

There were so many great things about this cruise line, but the best far and away, was no one under 18 allowed. There were no kids running and screaming anywhere, anytime. It was wonderful and truly felt like a respite.

The second best thing was we had our own butler and suite maid! Granted they served many customers, but you need something, you pick up the phone and voila! it’s there. We ate all our breakfasts and several dinners en suite, all delivered, set up and taken away by our butler.


The third best were the enrichment lectures. The speaker was Kevin Miller from VisionBound. His talks about the towns and cities we were to visit were really interesting, but I was sold by his talk on Insights and Tips for Communicating with the Other Gender and his talk on The Four Generations (Traditionalists, Baby Boomers, Gen X and Milliennials).  I thought being wed 46 years that I could probably give the first talk, but alas I still learned something! And the talk about the generations also was incredibly enlightening for us as we have a Gen X daughter.

Our butler was from New Delhi and gorgeous! He spoke really quickly so I got about every tenth word. Instead I just smiled a lot! Our maid was from the Philippines and had been away from her 7 yr old daughter cleaning cruise rooms for ten months. So the first thing I learned on my summer vacation was a reminder about gratitude for the life I live, the blessings of travel, and that we are still physically able to travel. Travel truly opens one’s eyes to just how fortunate we are.

autumn colors, Sitka

iceberg, Hubbard Glacier

When I traveled solo to Japan in 2002 I remember seeing alongside the train tracks, miles and miles of high rise buildings with tiny apartments within. I was stunned how so many live in such small spaces while I have an entire house to call home. On that trip I became so aware of cultural differences, and even more so how greedy (and spoiled) we are about our square footage in the States.

It is said travel expands horizons, which is so true. There are many in this country who need to get out more, to see and assimilate just how fortunate they truly are.

Back to Alaska…Although we had previously seen Denali and the interior of Alaska as well as sailed the Norwegian fjords, I figured the coast of Alaska would basically look the same as it is roughly the same latitude. Wrong! It was spectacular beyond belief…the force of nature reflected throughout the inside passage, the mountain ranges, clouds, waterfalls, fjords, glaciers; all just incredibly gorgeous.

We walked to the Totem museum and Ms. Dolly’s (bordello) in Ketchikan, saw the Mendenhall Glacier and State Museum in Juneau, took a roundtrip train trip to the Canadian border in Skagway, communed with my Russian predecessors in Sitka, took a 4 hr rail trip from¬†Seward to Anchorage, and then toured Anchorage. We averaged about 2.5-3 miles of walking a day, pretty good for two folks with wobbly parts.

Before leaving I bought a pair of Nike ‘running shoes’ as I didn’t want to take my walking shoes as they are so heavy. I loved the red (and black) so I bought them, and didn’t think much more about it. Well listen, I had no less than four young people, one as young as 10 I would guess, go ape over my red Nikes! Who knew I was so cool? I just cared that I found shoes that fit, irregardless of them being red and high fashion!

TurnAgain Arm


another day, another glacier!

tundra from the train

By weeks end, I had hemmed, hawed and vacillated about booking another cruise for next year. Would hubs be able to travel next year, could he keep up? Worry, worry, fret, fret. I slept on it and in the morning another reminder emerged.

None of us knows how we will feel next month, let alone next year. If we wait until the stars are all aligned, we will go nowhere nor do anything. Just do it …and in red shoes! ¬†(thx Nike)

These are but a few pics. My usual shape, pattern, texture collages are posted to Instagram if you care to check it out.

cloud porn from return flight

aging and ageism…

Friday, August 25th, 2017

detail, Anti-Aging

Today while hand-stitching down facings on new work I decided to listen to some TED talks I had saved. What a revelation! Ok, so I am late to the party. Being a visually oriented person I have had life-long trouble figuring out the best way to assimilate information. It was not college, it is not books, it is not any form of lengthy written word. It is occasionally Kindle and occasionally not! It is basically by hearing or doing. So today I listened to five TED talks and came away with an entirely new appreciation for tidbits of information.

One such talk was about putting an end to ageism. Essentially the idea is ageism is the last frontier of social issues. We’ve acquired voting rights, women’s rights, civil rights, LGBTQ rights, etc. Now is the time to end ageism.

Every one of us, if we are so blessed will get OLD. Because I have lost three friends to cancer, at ages 56, 59 and 67, I NEVER complain about getting older. It is a privilege not granted to all. There are tremendous advantages to aging, not the least of which is no longer giving a shit about stuff that made us frantic with worry early on. Yet in this culture OLD is not revered but instead seen as some sort of cast-aside wizen, useless creature.

It was so good for me to listen to this TED talk, and to be reminded that so much of my own programming contributes to ageism. It is as if sometimes I don’t expect as much from myself, because well, I am getting OLDer. And yet I gave away the rocker after the baby was grown. I am actively making art, actively exercising, actively traveling, actively interacting with friends and actively try to learn and understand. I am an active almost 70 year old with some physical challenges. My goal is to acknowledge those which are real and those which are old school propaganda about aging.¬†It is time to throw out that old, sagging stereotypical thinking.

OLD PEOPLE ROCK…as in caveman!