I am in a very weird place with my knee replacement recovery.¬† At almost 8 weeks my mental energy has returned with a vengeance but my physical body (the knee anyway) is not able to keep up! I continue to work hard in physical therapy, alternating with gym workouts and walking the track. I am walking some at home without the cane but still using it out in the world. I am driving again but with few places to go where I can stand for more than 15-20 mins. Short trips to pick up a few groceries or in the kitchen making a quick lunch or breakfast…things are progressing.
Before surgery I left a design template on the wall to inspire me to get back to my art-making. I also picked out the fabrics for same. This is my practice whenever I travel to have something other than a blank wall staring back at me to motivate me to get on with it.¬† I’ve been thinking that perhaps this week or next I will start work on it.
And yet I am not sure I want to. Much of my mental process during this recovery has been about my art. For so many reasons I feel as if I am on a precipice …but of what I am not yet sure!¬† My father’s death in June combined with my 2nd knee replacement in 9 months have catapulted me into a new chapter in my journey. I am not yet sure where I am, where I am going or what I am supposed to be doing etc.
And yet I know from past experience that I am over-thinking it. I simply need to get out of my own way. Whatever it is may not even happen now. I just need to stop trying to figure it out,¬† get back into the studio and futz around on anything, not necessarily what is on the wall…just something to get those creative juices flowing again…one size 13 step at a time!